If you’re in a relationship with someone who’s watching porn, you might be worried that it’s cheating. But there are ways to talk to your partner about it without causing them to feel betrayed, says Shadeen Francis, LMFT, CST.
First, be clear about your feelings about it. Let her know that you don’t think it’s a sign of infidelity or objectification.
1. Ask calmly
If you want to watch porn with your girlfriend, it is best to ask her calmly. This will ensure that she does not get upset or dismiss the idea.
Explain that you have been thinking about it for a long time now and it would be exciting to try it out with her.
It will be a great way to spice up your sex life. And it will also show her how much you care for her.
2. Make it a surprise
A lot of people watch porn, but it’s not always the best way to spend your time. It can also have negative consequences for your relationship and your body image. But if you’re in the market for something new and fun, a little bit of porn may be worth the risk.
To make the experience as fun and enjoyable as possible, you’ll want to plan some sort of activity that involves both of you. That could be as simple as a night in or as elaborate as a weekend away in the big city. It’s also a good idea to have a back-up plan just in case you’re not up for it.
3. Make it a shared activity
Watching porn can be a great way to learn about your partner’s sexual interests and fantasies. It also helps you build intimacy and communication within the bedroom, notes relationship expert April Masini.
But before you try to get your girlfriend into it, be sure that it’s a good fit for both of you. You don’t want to end up in a situation where one of you is apprehensive about watching it, or the other feels threatened by it.
It’s also important to remember that sex and gender norms can make it difficult for women to see the benefits of pornography. Similarly, it can be hard for men to persuade their female partners to see the benefits of it.
4. Let her choose the video
Watching porn is what a lot of guys dream about and it can be an exciting and experimental activity in the bedroom. So, if you have a girlfriend who is interested in it and ready to give it a try, then do not be afraid of asking her about it.
The first thing you should do is let her choose the video. This way, you will know her preferences and she will feel more confident about watching it with you.
5. Don’t pressurize
While it’s not always easy to avoid your partner watching porn, if you want to have a successful relationship with her you need to learn how to avoid making it feel like a personal affront. Caitlin V., a sex therapist and author of Sex Therapy: What It Is and Why It Works, recommends leaving judgment and shame tactics out of the discussion.
Porn can trigger serious self-esteem issues for women and lead to feelings of shame about their bodies. It also can make them feel pressured to look or behave a certain way, which can be a barrier to healthy relationships.
6. Make it a part of your routine
Porn can be a very addictive and time-consuming habit. In fact, it can even be damaging to your relationship and sex life.
The good news is that you can change this. The first step is to acknowledge your addiction and admit that it’s a problem.
Next, set a limit for yourself. Don’t spend more than four hours a week watching porn, and don’t overdo it!
